(Apologies in advance if I sound like an emo little shit. I just need to say some things. )

So, my depression has worsened this past year (I start feeling worse last... October (in 2008), I'd say. Huh. I've just been feeling worse and worse. I don't know, I've just lost interest in things. I don't draw nearly as often as I used to/ as much as I'd want to. I still draw sometimes, though, and if feels good when I draw/create things. I do that in art class, but, other than that I'm just so busy, so pressured. I get ideas for drawings that sound like they'd be great but I don't have time to get around to doing them. And my teachers aren't helping at all- the art teacher is a bitch to Kinder, the english teacher is an ass to my whole class... my friend Jordan moved to a different class, he was so angry at my english teacher. I'm tempted to follow his lead next semester- I'd much rather be in Creative Writing than English 4. English 4! What the hell! I even signed up for Creative Writing to be on my schedule last year for this year, but my counselor from last year... I won't go into details about her. All you need to know is that she really didn't like me at all, and never explained why. My counselor this year (last year's counselor retired. good riddance, for me at least. DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT, MRS. P. ) seems much better.

Huh.. the comment about people never explaining why has to do with another thing that upsets me. With my mom, my brother, random teachers or mine, they don't explain why they feel the way they feel. I at have reasons for my feelings, so I can't understand why other people don't. I mean, they're your feelings. Your's. You should have reasons behind them. It's like, when people talk about me sometimes it's as if they don't take me seriously. -sigh- Well, it's very annoying. How are they supposed to take me seriously if they never do anything involved in taking me seriously? I mean, I realize that I am small/have a child-y body. But that's not something I can control (and believe me, I would like to be able to do something about that.) Do you really think I like having my pants size be 1, only weighing around 106 pounds, and being around 5'5"? Yes it sounds nice, but it's really not all it's cracked up to be. It's nice at first, but then the more you have it, the worse it is. It's very hard on a person to not get taken seriously.

Well, shit. I've lost things to type about. But... I don't like living. I don't mind if that sounds bad because I know it sounds bad. I don't see a point to going on if every day keeps being worse than the one that was before it. But, of course, being me, I'm too much of a wuss to try to off myself. Fuck. ...Death Cab, lift my mood.